Sweet and Sour （甘酸っぱい）

A few weeks ago I left a comment on a blog somewhere.   As usual I was trying to help encourage someone.  But then there were a couple of replies to my comment that were really condescending.  So I felt stupid for leaving a comment.   For over a week I felt really worthless.  My normal enthusiasm was suddenly diminished.  My humor had abated.  Even the woman at the little Japanese food shack, Moshi Moshi, noticed.  Of course I told her everything was fine.    But it wasn’t.  It was depressing.

But then, someone called and asked for my help.  They wanted my input on a marine research center they are building at a coastal development site.  So I met the mayor of the municipality, the architect, and one of the development council members out at the site.  The photo above was one of many I took of the place to get ideas for planning.  That’s a mangrove area set aside for ecotourism.  They listened intently and liked some of the ideas I had.  I didn’t feel worthless anymore.  I was also asked if I might be available to run some projects at the center.  And my enthusiasm began to bloom again.

I think I’m not going to leave comments anymore at all.  I’m so tired of internet arrogance.  Tired of people carelessly spewing their vacuous, pseudo-intellectual rubbish.  I like helping people who ask for help.  That’s why I volunteered overseas.  Just to help.

But I know I’m at fault too.  I’m too eager to solve problems.  Maybe because it’s one of my strengths - at least according to one of my professors in graduate school.  I should wait to be asked for help.  Otherwise I just expose myself to ridicule.  And I just don’t think I deserve that.

- Just a peasant

Photo out in Kitti