Saturday, February 02, 2013

Sweet and Sour (甘酸っぱい)

A few weeks ago I left a comment on a blog somewhere.   As usual I was trying to help encourage someone.  But then there were a couple of replies to my comment that were really condescending.  So I felt stupid for leaving a comment.   For over a week I felt really worthless.  My normal enthusiasm was suddenly diminished.  My humor had abated.  Even the woman at the little Japanese food shack, Moshi Moshi, noticed.  Of course I told her everything was fine.    But it wasn’t.  It was depressing.

But then, someone called and asked for my help.  They wanted my input on a marine research center they are building at a coastal development site.  So I met the mayor of the municipality, the architect, and one of the development council members out at the site.  The photo above was one of many I took of the place to get ideas for planning.  That’s a mangrove area set aside for ecotourism.  They listened intently and liked some of the ideas I had.  I didn’t feel worthless anymore.  I was also asked if I might be available to run some projects at the center.  And my enthusiasm began to bloom again.

I think I’m not going to leave comments anymore at all.  I’m so tired of internet arrogance.  Tired of people carelessly spewing their vacuous, pseudo-intellectual rubbish.  I like helping people who ask for help.  That’s why I volunteered overseas.  Just to help.

But I know I’m at fault too.  I’m too eager to solve problems.  Maybe because it’s one of my strengths - at least according to one of my professors in graduate school.  I should wait to be asked for help.  Otherwise I just expose myself to ridicule.  And I just don’t think I deserve that.

- Just a peasant
Photo out in Kitti


Anonymous hellopoponta said...

You know what puts a smile on my face every day? Knowing that there is a caring and trustworthy person out there in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, busy with his research interests, working his ass off with so many projects that most of us could hardly handle, and that this person will probably take a moment to spare a thought for me.

Don't let the words of others get you down, not mine nor of anyone else. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry if my words had hurt you.

Wishing your success in the marine project (and others).

Ayano xxx.

12:48 AM  
Anonymous just a peasant said...

That's very kind and sweet of you to say Ayano. Thank you very much. I'm good now.

12:12 PM  

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