What Adam Should Have Said

In honor of comments made by certain people and by the illustrious Jerry Falwell (though not about Teletubbies this time) let me just say, if you believe in the Judeo-Christian mythology, I tell you, it is a truly sad and sorry lot of men that were descended from Adam - because he wasn’t much of a man.

What kind of man says nothing to defend his only friend? What kind of man refuses to take responsibility for his own actions? What kind of man does nothing to protect his lover?

Adam could have said “Please Lord, I ate of the Apple of my own free will - punish me, but please don't punish her.” Or he could have said, “No Lord, it was I who took the Apple – she didn’t even know.”

Adam could have begged his God to forgive Eve. He could have begged to suffer her judgment as well, in order to keep her safe. But he didn’t. He said nothing.

Adam should have said, “Lord, I see now that you are cruel and unjust and that you are petty and hateful. I see that you are vain and have created us so that you could torture us just so that we will worship you and adore you.”

Adam should have said, “Lord, there is no Paradise where there is fear and slavery.”

And when Adam was finally cast out, he should have turned and said, “And anyway, Eve and I hate apples - we prefer peaches.”

Now that would have been cool.

-Just a peasant

Painting of "The Kiss" by Gustav Klimt