Thursday, June 08, 2006

Baby of the Gods!

Could this be the newborn of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? It could be - but it’s not. Yet what is this feverish obsession that could generate $4 million dollars? Who cares about this stuff?

Beautiful babies are born every day in this world. Some of these babies, who are not famous, will go on to do great things for their communities. This cute baby I found in one Google search and 8 seconds. That's how easy it is to find a beautiful baby.

I’m sure that these two movie star deities love their Brangelina very much and it’s probably the center of their world right now. However, children of movie stars are usually not quite as luminous as their parents. In fact, quite the opposite. Yet many people are treating this child as though it had been poured forth from a golden vase being carried by a unicorn and filled with magical roses. We can only hope that this child is better at faking accents than Angelina.

Newsflash! - This infant has done nothing yet; it has not earned any part of its personality whatsoever. This baby has done absolutely nothing to prove it is physically or intellectually superior to all the other babies born on the same day. Why don’t we wait 25 years to see what this person will be like before we worship at its altar?

Anyway, if babies were really smart, like every parent claims about their own child, they would be born speaking an actual language we could understand. Then they could communicate their needs in a coherent and timely manner. Are you hungry? Are you scared? Are you wet? What the hell is “Goo Goo, Gaa Gaa” supposed to mean?! And didn’t you notice that the rest of us in the house sleep at night?!

Photo - NOT Brad and Angelina's baby - not mine either.