Thursday, May 25, 2006

An American Mullah

So a US Attorney General has deemed it righteous to punish reporters for disclosing classified information. Mr. Gonzales, we stand in awe of your intellectual prowess.

Sir, I am humbled by your ability to assimilate lessons from the noble endeavors of so many other world regimes in history that have also found it necessary to silence reporters: the ex-Soviet Union, Nazi Germany, Peru, North Korea, Cuba, China, Turkmenistan, the Taliban, Iran. You sir, are truly are a man of the world.

I admit that I am not quite clear on how exactly a reporter is to know that information is classified when it is, in fact, given to them by a government official. If I was a reporter, not having your imperial wisdom on these matters, I would naturally assume that anything they said was indeed, unclassified. I mean, after all, why in the world would they ever divulge state secrets to a simple peasant like me?

But Sir, I do have one thought. It seems that, by your supreme reasoning, it would then be perfectly acceptable for a father that often uses obscene words, to smash in the face and break the bones of his four-year old child for suddenly repeating one of those obscene words.

Mr. Gonzales, according to your specious and unquestionable logic, we should never punish government officials for the reckless disclosure of classified information as it is actually those, foolish enough to listen to the officials, that should be hanged. And indeed, we could even reanalyze history with your lucid and provincial expertise. We could see that slavery in early America was not the fault of the slavers, but of the Africans who were stupid enough to get captured. We would recognize that it was not the fault of the Japanese that Pearl Harbor was bombed, but of the Americans that were lazy enough to let themselves be bombed. We would no longer need to blame the HIV virus for destroying people, as it is clearly the AIDS patients who allow themselves to contract the virus. And certainly a man is not to blame for raping a woman, for it is clearly her fault for possessing the very items he desires.

Yes Sir, I can only conclude my adoration of you by noting how many other persons in the world hold your magnificent and gracious ideals and, of course - wishing that you were my child.
Note: this is a corrected post as it got mixed up with another post that I was writing about a supreme court justice - sorry about that.